Well for the first time in some fifteen years my Fighting Irish finish the season with back to back wins. Yeah, I know. I took the worst season in school history (Notre Dame has never lost nine games in a season) to break the cycle. All in all, I still stand by my team. I stand by my Coach. I stand by my quarterback. Yes, I am a die hard Notre Dame fan. No, I’m not a delusional fan. I’m a realistic optimist. Anyway, congrats to my Irish. Bring on 2008!
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All posts for the month November, 2007
After last night"s battle of wills getting Savannah Grace to go to sleep, sitting here watching Santa come down Broadway is a reminder of what an incredible family I’ve been entrusted with. I am blessed.
With all the stress and transition in our life right now I’m very thankful for the simple things I can count on. I’m sitting watching the beginning of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I’m thankful that I get to watch this and that Santa is at the end of it. Of course I’m thankful for everything else. You know all the stuff that would make me cry to start thinking about. So I’ll simply leave you with this. Thank you God for giving us such an incredible journey in Georgia for the last three and a half years. Thank you for the simple things. Thank you for the lessons learned. Thank you for this country and the men and women who fight for my freedom. Thank you for my family. Thank you for forgiving me. I love you.
I’m not thankful for the stupid performances during the parade. Just keep walking already. Geez!
Thanks for all the responses to the question of the "line." For those just joining us, I asked in yesterday’s post what a church or organization should or could tell students in regards to boundaries in physical relationships.
This may seem like an easy enough question at first glance but as we’ve discovered, there are several unseen factors that cause a hesitation. The first and possibly biggest being the parental instruction. Without going into all the issues I’ll simply give you my position on the discussion.
I have no problem potentially upsetting a parent. That’s a good and a bad thing. My goal is to partner with parents in the holistic growth of their child. However, if the parent skirts the issue or refuses to give a concrete answer to the age old debate (how far is too far?) than I will be happy to give a real answer.
Asking a student or single adult to "live a life that honors God" isn’t concrete enough. Interpretation and personal conviction cause big time problems with that answer. An answer with a philosophic or theological answer doesn’t help either. They want and need specifics. So where can we get that and who has the authority to make it clear? Simple, the Bible.
"Phillip McCart, the Bible doesn’t talk about 1st, 2nd or 3rd base." Nope, you’re right. It sure doesn’t. The Bible is far more clear and concise on the subject of physical relationships. God expects us to be "pure and blameless" on our wedding night. Simple.
"But Phillip, the Bible doesn’t define purity." Dang it! You got me again. Since the Bible is obviously being quiet on this subject, let’s go to one of the most reliable places for clarity in vocabulary in our world. Good old Webster! Webster says that to be pure (according to definition 3b) is to be free from moral fault or guilt. Definition 3c says: "marked by chastity." Chaste is defined as innocent of unlawful sexual intercourse or pure in thought and act.
"But Phillip, our lives should be based on Biblical answers." Okay, then I have only two other thoughts for you. First (and my more Biblically trained friends may argue I’m taking this out of context but I don’t care) here is the closest thing I can find in Scripture to physical relationship boundaries before marriage. Example one. I know that doesn’t clear much up but I think it takes care of the "base running." Example two. And there is my stance. In physical relationships, we shouldn’t be participating in anything past a "holy kiss" before marriage.
I didn’t say my position was easy but it is clear and concrete. This is the line. I’ve crossed it. You’ve crossed it. Most if not all teenagers will and are crossing it. We’ve justified the crossing. We’ve watered down our expectations. We’ve been lazy when our children and friends have crossed it. It’s time we quite chickening out of this and be bold. I’m done spoon feeding. There is a standard. We must communicate it. We must love and support those who’ve crossed it. But we must raise a flag and quit being passive. This is going to be hard. It will change our relationships. It will make people angry. It will change the way we see and interact with our children. But it will protect and save far more people and their future marriages.
Remind me of this when Savannah Grace hits seven years old!
I had a fun creative meeting this morning where we discussed a series for February/March of 2008. Yeah, we’re trying to get ahead. After a lengthy discussion on what we can or cannot communicate as a church to our students I thought I’d ask the blog world.
The question is this: how far is to far for students in a physical relationship?
The issue for us is communicating one thing while a parent communicates another. Our goal is to partner with parents. Unfortunately there are quite a few parents out there who are living with unreal expectations of what students are exposed to or have experienced.
So now it is to you. What do you think a church should communicate as it relates to physical relationships between students or single people in general? I have my opinion but I want to hear your’s before I share mine. Let the debate begin!
You know how past experiences cast shadows of either optimism or pessimism. Well this weekend I had a wonderful time with my wife and daughters. I had the chance to play with Savannah Grace and Rylee a ton. I also was able to sit back and watch them play.
It really is amazing how different two kids with the same parents can be. Savannah Grace has always played with her baby dolls but Rylee is somewhat obsessed. She will carry a baby doll around all day. In the stroller, out of the stroller. Lay down and walk around. She’ll do everything we do with her to that baby. She’ll walk around and sway the baby while saying "sh, sh, shhhhhhh." The funniest thing she does is bring the baby to Anita or me and say "Poopy." And she waits until we pretend change the baby’s diaper.
The thing that robs me of truly enjoying this is my past experiences. The innocence of these little scenes is lost because I’ve seen one to many Maury Povich shows about little girls wanting to be Moms. I know I’m probably hypersensitive to this due to the fact that both my little sister and Anita’s little sister both had a baby at age sixteen.
Just remind me that Rylee’s love for the baby is because of the love she receives from Anita and me. Tell me to shut up and enjoy being a dad of two sweet, beautiful and healthy girls. I promise I’m not crazy but every once in a while those pessimistic thoughts creep up and I’ve got to get a stinkin grip.
The weekend has been a bit random. All day Friday I was convinced it was Saturday. I have no idea how our minds get so mixed up that we completely skip a day. But for most of the morning on Friturday (sorry, I couldn’t resist) Anita and I packed some boxes. Nothing huge; just our bookshelves. It’s hard trying to pack stuff up and still live in a house for another two weeks or so. By the way, this coming Tuesday officially marks two weeks till I drive off to Charlotte!
I also officiated a wedding on Saturday. All turned out well but up until the bride showed up ten minutes before we were supposed to start, the wedding coordinator and I were getting a little nervous. I managed to make it through another ceremony without accidentally cussing or making a stupid "Preacher" joke. Congrats to Dan and Tina!
My Irish managed to squeak out a win against a basketball team yesterday. Listen, when you find yourself faithfully cheering for your team in the middle of the worst season in school history, every win is something to be celebrated. Now if we could just beat Stanford next week we will beat the team that beat the team I hate more than any other.
Finally, I’m at Buckhead Church this morning. This will be my final trip to old BC while on staff. I say on staff because if we ever have the chance to build a building at Elevation Church, I’m sure we’ll come check out the facilities with the rest of our staff. This place is amazing. If you’ve never seen the new Buckhead Church building, do yourself a favor and schedule a day to come get the tour. You won’t be sorry!
Tomorrow I have the privilege of performing the wedding ceremony for a couple in our church. Tonight is the rehearsal. I never really felt the pressure of speaking on behalf of God when I teach, but when I’m performing a wedding ceremony I feel a ton of pressure. I suppose that’s due to the idea that if someone hears God’s word, goes out and sins they still have grace.
Not to say there isn’t grace in marriage because as those of us who are married know…marriage requires more grace than we knew we were capable of giving or receiving. But with a marriage if the vows are broken and mistakes are made, lives are potentially damaged forever. Despite the fact that over half of the marriages in this country (Christian and non) end up in divorce, most churches look on a divorcee as a victim of the plague.
Of course we need to do everything we can to protect our marriages and the marriages of those around us but as a church we need to do a little "speck and plank" reflection. I’ve experienced one situation where I felt like the church handled itself better than I had ever seen. I still think there was room to improve but it was refreshing to see a church reach out rather than cringe back.
All that to say please pray for me over the next couple of days. With everything else going on in my life, I want to be sure to get out of the way and let God do what God does best…love.
I’m sitting here on my day off watching Regis and Kelly. (Don’t judge me, I haven’t had cable or satellite in over three years. You watch what you got.) I used to enjoy the occasional funny joke or two that would make me laugh…until, (insert intense soundtrack music here) someone who has actually been to a taping told me about the man behind the curtain (Wizard of Oz reference.)
She said everything is rehearsed and scripted. Every single interaction and joke. Even the stuff that seems off the cuff. Man what a disappointment. What is this world coming to?
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