Seeing Without Breathing

There is a lot going on in my life these days.  Like anyone else in a challenging season of life, I have days in which I find it easy to trust God and days filled with worry and anxiety.  Music has always been a big part of my life and serves as a great tool in my relationship with God.  Lately one particular song has served as somewhat of a theme song for me.

HIllsong’s “Oceans” is a popular song choice for most worship leaders right now.  Many times songs like these become “white noise” for me.  Despite the powerful lyrics or pleasant composition of medley, I tend to be fickle when it comes to my choice of music.  However, “Oceans” has become a song that breaks through my finicky preferences.  It has become more than just a song; it has become a prayer in my heart.

“And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine”

I can’t stop reflecting on that lyric. “And keep my eyes above the waves”  I imagine being in the water waiting on instruction from Jesus.  If just my eyes are above the waves that means my mouth and nose are beneath the surface of the water.  I’m able to see but unable to breathe.

That’s exactly how I feel in this season.  I can see what God is doing and I know that He is faithful. But the burning fear and pressure builds with every passing hour.  I can almost hear Him whispering, “I’m here; I know what I’m doing; I’ve got you.”  So I continue to tread water keeping my eyes fixed on Him.  Seeing without breathing, I experience a deeper more intimate level of what it means to trust my God.  And one day when He resolves this season of waiting, I will once again pray…

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”