Surrender is a word that upon hearing it, immediately conjures images in your mind. As an American, these images are usually in reference to battle or competition. This of course then shades the idea of surrender with a hue of negativity.
However, as a disciple of Jesus, surrender has an entirely different feeling. It is a constant state of living, along with moments of intensity. The disciple has surrendered everything at all times for the glory of God, but there are times in which God provides an opportunity to experience a deeper intimacy through surrender. These moments are most often life decisions.
"Will I stand strong against temptation?"
"Will I honor Him with my purity?"
"Where will I work?"
"Who will I marry?"
For most of my life I've had a great peace about my future and God's plan. I surrendered to full-time ministry while in high school. From that point on, God has revealed His plan step by step with reasonably managable stress levels for me. Until 2007.
In 2007 I had to make a very difficult decision that, until a few days ago, I still wondered if my discernment was wrong. Over the last five and a half years I have had countless conversations and mentor counseling discussions about what God might be doing in my heart and life. It's been full of confusing events and painful circumstances.
This season of "blindness" came to an end Wednesday night, June 19, 2013. As I sat with our students and leaders at Student Life Camp in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, God opened my eyes to understand what He has planned for me. David Platt finished his message and we began to respond to God through singing. I knelt down with my head in my hands and began to weep.
God was calling me to surrender.
For at least two songs I prayed through my tears and after five minutes or so, I was finally able to pray "Your will be done."
While I don't yet know the specifics or timing God has planned, I know His purpose for me. And for at least the immediate future, I am only sharing what this purpose is with my wife and closest counsel.
I share all this not to tell you what God has planned for me, but to encourage you to surrender. Surrender first, your life and eternity to a loving Savior who has died for you. Surrender your desires and hopes to a God who knows what is ultimately best for you and glorifying to Him. Surrender your relationships to a Comforter who will bring more intimacy than any person you will ever love. Surrender every individual circumstance and decision to the will of God not because you desire peace but because you want Him most.